The Arc of Cruelty - Envy and Schadenfreude in the Modern World
Exploring the Spectrum of Sadism
In this article, we continue our exploration of envy and schadenfreude, the taboo twins of human emotion. Part one is available here.
Envy and Schadenfreude in the Modern World
The Rise of 'Humilitainment'
Now, let's talk about how these taboo emotions find a socially acceptable outlet in popular culture. Enter reality TV—a cultural phenomenon that offers viewers a unique form of entertainment, often hinging on the misfortunes, conflicts, and embarrassments of its participants. This phenomenon has given rise to what media scholars call "humilitainment"—a blend of 'humiliation' and 'entertainment.' And let’s be honest, who hasn’t felt a little thrill watching a contestant completely oblivious to how ridiculous they look?
Humilitainment is particularly evident in reality TV shows and game shows where naive or talentless contestants are set up for mockery, often without their full awareness. This is where schadenfreude truly shines. The "fun" for viewers lies in watching these unsuspecting participants stumble through challenges or reveal their lack of self-awareness, all while we sit comfortably on our couches, feeling a mix of superiority and second-hand embarrassment.
Remember Simon Cowell's ruthlessly honest comments to American Idol contestant William Hung? It’s no surprise that clip remains one of the most-watched moments from the show—our guilty pleasure comes from hearing Cowell’s biting critique, knowing we’re in on the joke while the contestant isn’t. Who hasn’t cringed and laughed, all at the same time?
Reality TV allows us to indulge in schadenfreude without direct social consequences. We can feel the thrill of others' misfortunes vicariously, providing a sense of moral distance. Watching others struggle or fail on screen can provide a cathartic release, allowing us to process our own negative emotions in a controlled environment. It also creates social bonds, as viewers come together to discuss and sometimes mock the show's participants.
However, we must consider the ethical implications of humilitainment. Reality TV often exploits participants' vulnerabilities and can desensitize viewers to others' suffering, potentially reducing empathy in real-life situations. It can also have lasting negative impacts on participants' mental health and personal lives long after filming ends. The question arises: at what point does our entertainment cross the line into cruelty?
The Amplifying Effect of Social Media
If reality TV opened the floodgates for socially acceptable schadenfreude, social media has turned it into a torrent. Earlier, we touched on that all-too-familiar moment—scrolling through Instagram and feeling that sudden twinge of envy at someone’s picture-perfect vacation or shiny new promotion. Let’s take a closer look at what’s really happening in those moments. It’s not just a simple reaction; it’s a reflection of deeper emotional currents that social media has a knack for stirring up.
You might start off with good intentions—just catching up on what everyone’s up to—but before you know it, you’re knee-deep in comparisons, wondering why your life doesn’t look quite as shiny as everyone else’s. That pang of envy you feel? It’s not just a passing emotion; it’s part of a much larger, always-on cycle that social media is exceptionally good at fuelling.
Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter are designed to keep us engaged, often by showcasing the most extreme examples of success and failure. It’s like we’re constantly peeking over the fence into our neighbours' backyards, but now the fence is made of screens, and the yards stretch across the globe.
These curated snapshots of other people’s lives can trigger intense feelings of envy. We're bombarded with images of other people’s apparent successes—achievements, vacations, celebrations—all of which can magnify our own sense of shame and inadequacy. The result? Our primitive brains kick into overdrive, interpreting these images as signs that we’re somehow falling behind in the social hierarchy.
But it’s not just envy that social media magnifies; it’s schadenfreude too. Whether it’s a celebrity’s public misstep or a former classmate’s professional setback, the ability to witness—and even participate in—others' misfortunes is just a click away. That little thrill you get from someone’s downfall? That’s your brain’s ancient social-status calculator giving you a tiny boost of self-esteem at someone else’s expense.
The relentless nature of social media, combined with the fear of missing out (FOMO), keeps us in a constant state of social comparison. This perpetual awareness of others' activities can exacerbate feelings of shame, envy, and schadenfreude, creating a never-ending cycle of emotional highs and lows. Reality TV, with its regular episodes and “must-see” moments, creates a similar sense of FOMO, driving ongoing engagement and reinforcing these emotional patterns.
Coping Strategies for Shame, Envy, and Schadenfreude
As we’ve explored the complex landscape of shame, envy, and schadenfreude in our modern world, it’s clear these emotions can have a significant impact on our well-being and social interactions. Let’s dive into some strategies that can help us manage these emotions in a healthier way.
Acknowledging and Managing Shame
Given shame’s role in driving envy and schadenfreude, it’s important to address this underlying emotion directly. Here’s how:
Mindfulness: Start with Awareness
Pay attention to the situations or thoughts that trigger feelings of shame, envy, or schadenfreude. It's like becoming a detective in your own emotional crime scene – minus the trench coat and magnifying glass. Becoming more aware of these emotional triggers gives you a chance to pause and reflect before the emotions take over.
Recognize and Accept: It’s Okay to Feel This Way
Once you've noticed those feelings creeping in, acknowledge them without judgment. It's important to remember that shame is something we all deal with—no one's immune. By catching these feelings early and understanding that they're a normal part of being human, you can start to take away their power over you.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be Kind to Yourself
When you find yourself caught in the grip of shame, try to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a close friend. Self-compassion can be incredibly powerful, helping you to move through these difficult emotions without getting stuck in them. Remember, being kind to yourself isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about acknowledging your own humanity.
Building Empathy and Positive Social Interactions
Shifting our focus from self-centred comparisons to a more community-minded perspective can be transformative:
Encourage Empathy: Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes
The next time you feel that little thrill of schadenfreude, pause and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It’s a lot harder to take pleasure in someone else’s pain when you really try to imagine how they must feel. Building empathy helps us connect with others and reduces the temptation to enjoy their misfortunes.
Community Focus: Celebrate Success Together
Instead of constantly measuring yourself against others, focus on collective success. Celebrate the achievements of those around you and see how your own sense of satisfaction grows. When we support each other, everyone benefits.
Gratitude Practice: Count Your Blessings
Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. It’s amazing how shifting your focus to what you have, rather than what you lack, can help quiet feelings of envy and inadequacy. A regular gratitude practice can do wonders for your overall outlook.
Managing Your Social Media use
Social media can be a major amplifier of these emotions, so it’s important to develop healthy digital habits:
Curate Your Feed: Choose What You See
If certain accounts consistently trigger negative emotions, don't hesitate to unfollow or mute them. Think of it as Marie Kondo-ing your digital life – if it doesn't spark joy (or at least not misery), thank it and let it go. Your mental health is more important than keeping up with every update. Fill your feed with content that inspires and uplifts you.
Set Boundaries: Limit Your Time Online
Set limits on your social media use, especially when you’re feeling vulnerable. Sometimes, a digital detox is exactly what you need. Think of it as sending your phone to a spa retreat – it gets a break, and so do you. Give yourself permission to step away when it's too much.
Reality Check: Remember the Big Picture
Always keep in mind that social media is a highlight reel, not real life. It's the emotional equivalent of comparing your blooper reel to everyone else's carefully edited blockbuster trailer. When you start feeling down about someone's seemingly perfect life, remind yourself that you're only seeing the polished version of their story. Everyone has struggles, even if they're not on display.
Seeking Professional Help
If you find yourself struggling with persistent feelings of shame, envy, or schadenfreude, don’t hesitate to seek help. A mental health professional can provide personalised strategies and support. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness—it’s a step towards a healthier and more balanced life.
Conclusion
Modern life, through mediums like reality TV and social platforms, has created new avenues for experiencing and expressing schadenfreude. While these forms of entertainment can offer catharsis, foster social bonds, and even motivate self-improvement, they also tread a fine line between harmless fun and potential cruelty.
The amplification of schadenfreude in the digital age raises important questions about empathy, ethics, and human nature. How do we balance our evolutionary drives for social comparison and status with maintaining our humanity and compassion? At what point does our entertainment or online engagement cross the line from benign schadenfreude into something more troubling?
By acknowledging and actively managing our responses to shame, envy, and schadenfreude, we can navigate these complex emotions more effectively. This self-awareness and intentional approach to our emotional lives is crucial, especially as we face the unique challenges of the digital age.
However, it's important to recognize that these emotions can sometimes escalate into more concerning behaviours. In our next article, we'll explore this darker territory, examining how unmanaged shame, envy, and schadenfreude can lead to more active forms of everyday sadism in the digital world, including phenomena like trolling and online harassment.
As we navigate the world of likes, shares, and viral videos, it's worth reflecting on our own responses to others' misfortunes, both on-screen and online. Are we laughing with, or laughing at? And what do our reactions say about us? By asking these questions and applying the strategies we've discussed, we can work towards a healthier relationship with these complex emotions—both for ourselves and in our interactions with others.