Under the Bridge and Under their Skin - Concern Trolls and Sealions
Unmasking and Outwitting the Internet's Malignant Trolls: The Deceptive Duo
What if the most dangerous trolls aren’t the ones shouting insults but the ones whispering doubts and demanding endless explanations?
Imagine you've just shared a heartfelt post about your journey with mental health. The responses are overwhelmingly supportive, but one comment catches your eye:
"I'm glad you're feeling better, but aren't you worried about becoming dependent on medication? I've heard so many horror stories. Maybe you should try more natural remedies first?"
On the surface, it seems caring. But something doesn't sit right. Welcome to the world of subtle online manipulation, where civility masks malice and "just asking questions" becomes a weapon.
Meet The Deceptive Duo
In Part 1, we confronted the loud and brash residents of Troll Town: Griefers and Rage-Baiters. These overt trolls, driven by Millon's Tyrannical and Explosive Sadism, seek immediate gratification through chaos and outrage. But as we venture deeper into the shadowy corners of the internet, we encounter far more insidious creatures: Concern Trolls and Sealions.
These master manipulators blend Spineless and Enforcing Sadism, using a veneer of civility to mask their true intentions. They don't just provoke; they infiltrate, manipulate, and exhaust their targets. Their weapons are not crude insults or obvious provocations, but carefully crafted questions, false empathy, and relentless "politeness" that leaves their victims feeling drained, confused, and often doubting their own perceptions.
Unlike their overt counterparts, these subtle trolls are the Machiavellians of the internet. They employ manipulation, strategic calculation, and a profound sense of superiority to attempt to control narratives and silence dissent across entire platforms.
The Emotional Quicksand
Engaging with these trolls is like stepping into emotional quicksand. At first, the ground seems stable. The Concern Troll appears supportive; the Sealion seems genuinely curious. But with each interaction, you find yourself sinking deeper into a mire of self-doubt, frustration, and emotional exhaustion.
These trolls thrive on shifting tactics. When their polite questions fail to trap you, they often pivot to "gotcha" questions—loaded inquiries designed to corner you into a perceived inconsistency or contradiction. This tactic shifts the burden of proof entirely onto you, keeping you off-balance and defensive. If that doesn’t work, they may escalate further, reframing critiques of their behavior into accusations of prejudice or bias against them. By deflecting attention from their actions, they manipulate the conversation to obscure their true intentions and amplify your emotional toll.
The more you struggle to clarify your position or disengage, the deeper you sink. They don't aim for resolution; their goal is to leave you emotionally drained, questioning your own perceptions, and hesitant to engage further.
Concern Trolls: The Faux Friends
Favourite Dish: Self-doubt served with a side of discomfort. They savour the seeds of doubt they plant in their targets.
Think of Concern Trolls like Dr. Zachary Smith from Lost in Space—always pretending to help while secretly causing more harm than good. They pose as allies, offering seemingly helpful suggestions or expressing worry about your choices, but their hidden agenda is to destabilise and sow doubt.
In Action: Picture a lively social media discussion about climate action. The thread is buzzing with energy, people sharing ideas to reduce their carbon footprint. Suddenly, a comment appears: 'I’m concerned that all this focus on individual actions ignores the real issue of overpopulation. Shouldn’t we be talking about that instead?'"
This calculated move aims to derail the conversation, shift focus from actionable steps to a more divisive issue, and make you question the value of your efforts. The Concern Troll's spineless sadism manifests in their fake empathy, while their enforcing sadism subtly coerces you to doubt your position.
Sealions: The Relentless Inquisitors
I could do without Sealions. Did I say that out loud? Now, I’ve done it.
Favourite Dish: Domination through relentless questioning and the silencing of dissent. They thrive on controlling public conversations by wielding endless questions as weapons, coercing their targets into submission and exhaustion, then moving in for the emotional sting.
Picture Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter, smiling sweetly while pushing for "just one more question" until her target breaks down. Sealions operate similarly, pretending to be curious and reasonable while peppering their targets with an endless barrage of questions designed to exhaust and frustrate.
In Action: You've posted a well-researched thread about transgender rights, including links to professional consensus and legal precedents. A Sealion appears: "Can you define exactly what a woman is? I'm just trying to understand the basis of your argument."
You provide a nuanced explanation of gender identity. They persist: "But how can we be sure that allowing trans women in women's spaces won't lead to an increase in assaults? Can you provide statistics proving it's 100% safe?"
No matter how much evidence you provide, they demand more, shifting the goalposts to maintain control of the conversation. Their aim is not to seek truth but to exhaust you, discredit your position, and impose an emotional cost on anyone who challenges their world view. They rehearse and practice their ‘scripts’ over multiple interactions.
They don’t actually want answers—they want to enforce their dominance by trapping you in an endless loop of justification. Each response only fuels their next demand, creating a power dynamic where they dictate the terms and wear down your resolve. This is Enforcing Sadism in action: a relentless imposition of their narrative, meant to control and punish those who dissent.
Their sadistic pleasure comes not from genuine engagement, but from watching their targets struggle under the weight of their scrutiny. Their politeness is a calculated facade, designed to disarm while they systematically dismantle your confidence and drain your energy, piece by piece.
The 4-Step Emotional Abuse Model
The tactics of Concern Trolls and Sealions mirror the psychological manipulation seen in abusive relationships. Understanding this parallel can help you recognise and counter their behaviour more effectively. Let's enumerate the four stages of this model:
Love-Bombing: Establishing Trust
Gaslighting: Sowing Doubt
Coercive Control: Applying Pressure
DARVO: Playing The Victim
These stages progress from subtle manipulation to overt emotional abuse, each building on the last to erode your confidence and control the narrative. Ready to dig in?
Love-Bombing: Establishing Trust
What It Is: In this initial phase, the troll presents themselves as a friendly, curious participant in the discussion. They offer supportive comments or ask seemingly genuine questions, creating a false sense of safety and mutual respect.
Example: A Sealion might approach a discussion about content moderation on social media by asking, "I really appreciate your perspective on free speech online. I'm genuinely curious about how you balance protecting vulnerable groups with ensuring open dialogue. Could you explain more about where you'd draw the line?"
How to Recognise It:
Excessive flattery or agreement
Rapid escalation of familiarity
Requests for more detailed explanations or personal information
How to Respond:
Stay aware: Not all polite questioners are genuine.
Set boundaries: Respond briefly and factually. "I'm happy to explain, but let's stay focused on the topic."
Gaslighting: Sowing Doubt
What It Is: After gaining your trust, the troll shifts to subtly questioning your knowledge or beliefs. They introduce doubts and contradictions, making you question your understanding or recollection of facts.
Example: "You said you support both free speech and protecting minorities, but isn't any form of moderation inherently censorship? Are you sure you've thought this through?"
How to Recognise It:
You start doubting your memory or understanding
The troll frequently uses phrases like "You must have misunderstood" or "That's not what happened"
You feel confused after interactions
How to Respond:
Trust your perceptions: If something feels off, it probably is.
Keep records: Save screenshots or logs of conversations to refer back to.
Reassert facts: Calmly restate your position and clarify any misconceptions.
Coercive Control: Applying Pressure
What It Is: The troll ramps up the pressure, using relentless questioning, loaded statements, and attributing negative traits to you to try and corner you into answering their “gotcha” questions. They might accuse you of being evasive, ignorant, or biased, coercing you into responding on their terms.
Example: "If you're so confident in your stance, why won't you answer this simple question? Are you afraid you're wrong, or are you just unwilling to have a real discussion?"
How to Recognise It:
Feeling pressured to respond in a certain way
Accusations of negative traits (e.g., being close-minded, ignorant, or dishonest)
Rapid-fire questions that don't allow time for thoughtful responses
How to Respond:
Set firm boundaries: "I've answered your question clearly. I'm not going to engage in circular arguments."
Refuse intimidation: Maintain composure and don't feel obligated to respond to accusations.
DARVO: Playing The Victim
What It Is: DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender." When confronted about their behaviour, these trolls flip the script, denying any wrongdoing, attacking you for overreacting, and positioning themselves as the true victim. It’s a well-known tactic used by abusers of all stripes to escape accountability and further isolate and punish their victim.
Example: "I'm just asking questions, and now you're attacking me? This is exactly why people can't have open discussions any more. You're the one being intolerant and hostile. I’m shocked that you are so manipulative.”
How to Recognise It:
The troll claims victimhood when called out
They accuse you of the very behaviour they're exhibiting
They appeal to bystanders, framing you as the aggressor
How to Respond:
Stay focused: Don't get drawn into defending against their accusations.
Name the tactic: "This isn't about intolerance; it's about your pattern of manipulative behaviour."
Disengage: When it's clear they're not acting in good faith, step away from the interaction.
Understanding this progression can help you identify trolling behaviour early and respond effectively, denying them the emotional payoff they seek.
Identity-Based Deflection
Sealions don’t just deny wrongdoing—they often reframe legitimate critiques of their behaviour as bigotry or prejudice against a group they claim to represent. By weaponizing their identity, they shift the focus from their actions to a perceived moral or social injustice.
For example:
A Sealion who relentlessly questions a clinician about mental health practices might claim:
"This is what happens when patient advocates try to speak out—clinicians like you silence us."
Or a troll harassing an LGBTQ+ ally might accuse them of:
"You're clearly misogynistic/homophobic—you wouldn't challenge me like this otherwise."
These tactics disarm critics by making them seem prejudiced while obscuring the troll's manipulative intentions.
How to Recognize It:
They shift the conversation to an identity issue unrelated to the critique at hand.
They use emotionally charged language to rally bystanders or guilt their target into silence.
Their accusations often don’t align with the behaviour being critiqued.
How to Respond:
Stay focused on the behaviour: "This isn’t about an entire social group—it’s about your indidivual actions in this conversation."
Name the tactic: "Claiming that my critique of your individual behaviour is an example of prejudice is a deflection."
Reaffirm your intent: "I respect patient advocates, but I don’t condone abusive tactics, regardless of who engages in them."
The "Three Wins" of Sealions
Sealions, mostly driven by Enforcing Sadism with a veneer of Spineless Sadism, seek three specific "wins" in their interactions. Understanding these goals can help you recognise and counter their tactics:
Besting You in the Argument: To force you into a "gotcha" moment, catching you in a mistake, contradiction, or forcing a concession. Sadistic Supply: They derive pleasure from public humiliation and creating a chilling effect on others who share your views.
Provoking Intemperateness: To push you to an emotional breaking point where you lose your composure. Sadistic Supply: This allows them to portray you as irrational, discrediting you and reinforcing their narrative of reasonableness.
Getting the Last Word or Being Blocked: If you stop responding, they claim victory. If you block them, they frame it as censorship. Sadistic Supply: Both outcomes reinforce their narrative that dissenters are weak, unprepared, or intolerant.
These "wins" contribute to a broader agenda of controlling discourse, enforcing their narrative, and punishing dissenters across the social landscape.
Combat Techniques For The Deceptive Duo
General Strategies:
Set Firm Boundaries: Clearly state what you're willing to discuss and what you're not.
Use the "Broken Record" Technique: Repeat your main point calmly without engaging with their derailments.
Prioritise Self-Care: Recognise when an interaction is becoming emotionally draining and give yourself permission to step away.
For Concern Trolls:
Challenge Their Motives: Ask, "Why are you so worried about this?" Force them to explain their concern without resorting to vague "what-ifs."
Highlight the Contradiction: Point out inconsistencies in their "concerns."
Stay on Message: Acknowledge their comment briefly, then steer the conversation back to your original point.
For Sealions:
Limit Engagement: Recognise their goal is to exhaust and manipulate. If someone starts asking lots of questions, check their timeline and don't hesitate to decline to answer or mute if they have a pattern of sealioning.
Refuse to Chase Shifting Goalposts: Stick to your original point. "We've addressed the original question. I'm not interested in continually expanding the scope of this discussion."
Expose Their Game: Call out their tactics directly. "I see you're trying to pressure me into answering bad faith questions by attributing negative traits to me. That’s manipulative and the sort of thing abusers do.”
Reject DARVO Attempts. Not this escalation when they are exposed. “I see you’re trying to claim I’m a misogynist or homophobic for pointing out what appears to be prejudice. I’m critiquing your individual beliefs, not your womanhood or your sexuality.”
Troll Adaptability: Crossing The Streams
Be aware that trolls often switch between tactics, probing and adapting to find your weak spots. A Sealion might pivot to Concern Trolling if their questions aren't getting traction, or a Concern Troll might adopt Rage-Baiter tactics if their subtle approach fails.
Some Concern trolls and Sealions won’t fully mask-drop and escalate into full DARVO tactics; instead, they may retreat with a passive-aggressive display of performative nonchalance. This can take the form of a spasm of laughing and clown emojis 🤣😜🤡, or a dismissive claim that they’re too busy or too bored to continue—often suggesting they never cared that much about the conversation anyway. Another classic move is a veiled dig at ideological capture, followed by an insincere “thank you for the chat” or a patronizing “I wish you well”. This is another attempt at narrative control to have the last word and can be called out as such.
Stay vigilant and be prepared to adjust your strategies accordingly. Recognise that a shift in tactics often indicates that your current defence approach is working – you're denying them the particular sadistic supply they were seeking, so they're trying a new angle.
Conclusion: Flipping the Script on Future Vindication
As we wrap up our guide to deceptive and harmful trolls, remember that understanding these types and their tactics is your best defence. By recognising their strategies and knowing how to avoid or counter them, you're already one step ahead.
But the real power lies in collective awareness and action. Imagine a future where these troll tactics are widely known and easily countered—a world where attempts at manipulation are met with informed resistance.
Here's how you can contribute to cleaning up Troll Town:
Share The Knowledge: Pass on what you've learned to friends and family. The more people who can recognise these tactics, the less effective they become.
Support Others: When you see someone being targeted by a Concern Troll or Sealion, step in. Offer support, validate their experiences, and help them apply the strategies we've discussed.
Practice and Refine: As you encounter these trolls, put these techniques into practice. The more you use them, the more natural they'll become.
Create Safe Spaces: Foster online communities that value genuine dialogue and don't tolerate manipulative behaviour. Lead by example in your interactions.
Empower Yourself: Remember, you have the right to engage on your own terms. Don't feel obligated to respond to every comment or question, especially when you recognise troll tactics at play.
By working together and supporting each other, we can create an online environment where genuine conversation thrives and manipulative tactics fall flat. Each time you recognise and either avoid or even counter a troll, you're not just helping yourself—you're making the internet a better place for everyone.
So, are you ready to flip the script? Armed with this knowledge and these strategies, you have the power to thwart trolls getting their sadistic supplies and helping to reclaim online spaces for meaningful interactions. Remember, their tactics only work if we engage on their terms. By recognising their game and refusing to play by their rules, we create room for real dialogue, respectful disagreement, and genuine exchange of ideas.
Let's turn Troll Town into a ghost town, one thwarted troll at a time. The internet we want is within our reach—and it can start with us, right here, right now.
Beyond Manipulation: The Darkest Trolls
In the next article, we confront the most extreme online trolls—those who take their sadism even further and escalate from Machiavellian manipulation to targeted harassment and doxxing. Dive deeper to explore their extreme tactics and motivations and how to protect yourself and others from these online predators.
Join the Conversation: Have you encountered these troll types online? How did you handle them? Share your stories in the comments below!
This sounds like a good covering of NZ's new Christian fascist brigade which is populated by former Action Zealandia people who are outed white supremacists now pretending to be catholics, and a brand of clever dick Christians like Dieuwe De Boer who fancy themselves as a reasonable voice for traditional conservatism instead of what they really are - racism apologists and enablers. At the very best that's what they are, but they're more likely something worse which is a new generation of white nationalists who have learned to disguise their views to avoid being plainly labelled as such.